As soon as I saw the positive result on the pregnancy test my mental health started to decline. It was an unplanned pregnancy that took me by surprise and turned my life upside down. Unable to speak to family and friends about how I was feeling I felt so alone. I was scared that if I told professionals how I felt that they would somehow see me as unfit to be a mum and could potentially take my other children away from me. My relationship with my partner was severely affected and I knew there was something wrong but I just couldn’t seem to reach out for help. I took to google to see if there was anything in the area for mental health in pregnancy and it was there my journey with Mothers Mind began.
I was apprehensive about contacting them but as soon as I received that friendly message back I felt like someone was actually listening to me. I went along to the peer support group and was instantly met with love and support. I accessed Mothers Mind throughout my pregnancy and began to feel less alone. I listened to other mums' stories of their journey and success in recovery from maternal mental illness. After a traumatic birth and being unable to attend Mothers Mind due to being so unwell I knew I needed to get back there as I was feeling worse than ever. All the team and the other mums at Mothers Mind supported me in my referral to the Parent and Baby Unit, without them by my side I don’t feel I could have accessed the service or even reached out to my health visitor for the referral. Mothers Mind gave me a safe space to talk honestly about how I was feeling and the struggles I was facing, being around other women in the same boat who had been where I was gave me hope that I too could get better and there was no shame in what I was experiencing. I started to take medication alongside talking therapies and the fog began to clear. I began to feel lighter and everyone at Mothers Mind could see that my mental health was starting to improve, I started to speak out in the weekly topics on a Thursday and the staff and volunteers at Mothers Mind nurtured this new found self esteem, building me up with their love and support. I then made the transition from service user to volunteer which gave me a real sense of self belief and with that I started to apply for jobs.
I’m now in the best position I’ve ever been in, I have a job that I love and help other mums, who are struggling with maternal mental illness, using my lived experience. At the time my maternal mental illness was one of the darkest times of my life, but out of it has come a new version of me that I could never have dreamt I’d be.
Accessing Mothers Mind has made me a stronger person, a more confident mum and given me faith in myself.
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